7 Postpartum Fears That Didn’t Come True for Me: My Positive Experience as a First-Time Mom

I love hearing everyone’s postpartum experiences– I think it is so eye-opening and fascinating how every mother can have a unique experience after having a baby. Mentally, physically, and even spiritually. 

Take every negative (or positive!) postpartum experience from other moms with a grain of salt. Just because Susie lost all of her hair and her teeth fell out, doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen to you, too!

Of course, every mom’s post-baby experience is 100% valid, and this post is not meant to simply dismiss their struggles. I just want to share my own positive story to help new and expecting moms feel a little less scared of the 5th trimester. 

1. I Didn’t Gain Weight Postpartum

From what I had heard from other moms, I assumed I would gain copious amounts of weight after having a baby and that it would be almost impossible to take it off.

I maintained the same weight I was before pregnancy and actually lost additional weight in a healthy way a few months after giving birth.  

You can check out my blog post on how I lost 10 lbs without calorie counting here. 

2. I Didn’t Lose My Hair

I was mentally preparing for my hair to start falling out in clumps around 3 months postpartum. What I didn’t realize was that while many moms experience postpartum hair loss, not everyone does!

There’s no rhyme or reason for why I didn’t lose my hair, but I was extremely grateful. My hair has taken YEARS to get to the length it is now, and I was not prepared for the mom chop. 

3. I Didn’t Experience Postpartum Depression/Anxiety

Close family members of mine have experienced PPD, and it is more common than you might think. 

I’m very blessed that I didn’t experience postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety with my first baby, and I pray that I will not have to experience it with my future babies as well. 

I believe that having family members who live nearby and a strong support system truly helped avoid PPD in my case.  I acknowledge how blessed I am to live near close family. If you don’t have family who live in your city, I highly highly recommend finding local moms’ groups where you can meet other moms to start forming your “village”. Trust me, building a community is a game-changer. 

4. I Didn’t Completely Lose Myself in Motherhood

I can honestly say that I feel pretty much the exact same, identity-wise, after having a baby. In fact, I think I have even more goals and aspirations.

Of course, I have to alter these goals of mine to fit in with motherhood. However, I have actually become even more ambitious! 

I take advantage of naptime and bedtime to work on my self-care, hobbies, and projects (like this blog!). 

Pick a Hobby Postpartum

I highly encourage new moms to pick one hobby or side-project that they can do alone, quietly. Some ideas include the gym, blogging, knitting, painting, or even making TikToks. 

Only do these hobbies when the baby is sleeping or is being watched by a trusted adult. Trying to work on projects when your baby is awake will just be frustrating and unenjoyable. 

5. I Didn’t Have a Horrible Breastfeeding Experience 

Breastfeeding was SO HARD the first week or so after giving birth. Trying to keep her awake while feeding, timing the feedings, burping her after, etc. It also hurt like heck at first! 

Eventually, however, it became second nature, and now, at eleven months old, my baby is still breastfeeding with no issues. 

It’s time-consuming and certainly requires sacrifice. Being on a 2-hour timer in the first few months is tough (hello, super fast grocery runs). I feel so proud of myself for making it to a year, though, and I know you can do it too!!

6. I Didn’t Feel Constantly Sleep-Deprived

My baby has NEVER been a good sleeper, ugh. The first two days were definitely the worst. But after establishing somewhat of a bedtime routine, we adapted quickly. 

Eleven months later, my daughter still wakes up constantly at night. I thought I was going to feel exhausted all the time, but I honestly have been able to adapt to the night-wakings and early mornings. 

Lattes certainly help, as well as naps (when or if you can, I’m not a good napper), or just going to bed earlier (I’m really bad at going to bed at a decent time). Some days are much worse than others, but most of the time, it’s not that bad! 

7. I Didn’t Feel Like My Body Was ‘Ruined’

I am so passionate about the fact that your body is not “destroyed” once you give birth!! I was terrified of things never looking or feeling the same after having a baby. This just isn’t true, at least for me.

I think the idea that your body is “ruined” after pregnancy and birth just perpetuates negativity surrounding childbirth! Women’s bodies were made to do this, and it is completely natural and shouldn’t destroy you. 

Of course this isn’t to say that women who have had to undergo c-sections and episiotomies feel different after having their baby. I can’t speak to those experiences as I have no idea how that feels to have to go through such intense surgical changes. 

As for someone who had a natural, vaginal birth, I can confidently say that 11 months later I look and feel even better than before pregnancy! 

Everyone’s Postpartum Experience is Unique

It is so necessary to hear both the negatives as well as the positives when it comes to motherhood, pregnancy, and childbirth. I share my surprisingly positive experience because I personally was so scared of giving birth. I heard so many horror stories and it freaked me out! However, I not only had a positive pregnancy and positive postpartum experience, but also a (mostly!) positive labor and delivery despite my fears! 

Check out my blog post on everything that I was scared of during labor + delivery that actually didn’t happen.